If a year on Mercury is 88 days, how long is a year on Earth?

Prep your B-holes,

Recent field observations in the science of quantum physics have baffled researchers with their seemingly unfeasible findings. It seems that certain subatomic particles (we're talking fractions of protons and neutrons) are indirectly observed to occupy multiple positions in space simultaneously. However, despite an exhaustive and ongoing effort the curious occurrence continues to elude direct observation. Assuming the effect remains unobservable in spite of future scientific study and development, consider the following: on the smallest of scales, the most elementary particles of our existence are the physical manifestation of our mental capacity for quantifying possible outcomes. This is to say, until assigned a definitive value, every action exists only as a probability with several possible outcomes. An unobserved particle can therefore occupy any number of possible spaces. The field data reflects this probability by representing a particular object as present in multiple locations simultaneously, quantifying the likelihood of said object occupying the space in question. Upon direct observation however, our mind and senses perform their perception functions instantly and unconsciously, assigning "truth" to a single possible outcome which constitutes our reality. The perceived outcome becomes an expression of two functions. The first is the universal probability of possible outcomes discussed above. The second, and more important, function is our capacity for conscious decision. This reflects all possible outcomes for any given probability predicated upon personal choice, such as deciding where to get lunch. It is therefore likely that thought processes determine much of our physical reality instantaneously. The outcomes contingent upon this reality are bound by the sum of all probabilities contained by both our physical circumstance and conscious decision. The question of alternate realities contingent upon probabilities not recognized in our own reality is best left for another day though...